隨著科技進步,現代人拓展社交的方式和以往也大不相同,社群網站在維繫人與人的關係中,有著功不可沒的地位,隨時都能掌握到好友的動態、最新消息,也是一種認識他人的管道 ; 然而,這種便利性有時卻有它令人討厭的地方-當你和前任分手時,該如何處理網路上和他的關係呢?來看看VOGUE的編輯團隊們怎麼說,順便學英文吧。
In the age of social media, of course, the reminders live on in your and your ex’s feeds, and the politics of relationship purging can be tricky to navigate.
社群網站會不斷「提醒」你:「嘿,你的前任今天做了什麼、和某某在哪裡打卡」
reminder:提醒
tricky:狡猾
navigate:引導、導航
Think ahead
A little foresight never hurt anyone. “I don’t post pictures of my relationship on Facebook or Instagram to avoid specifically running into this situation,” says one Vogue.com writer.
如果夠有先見之明,有個絕對不傷人的作法,就是完全不放任何伴侶的照片在Facebook 或 Instagram上,但這就比較消極一點了。
foresight:眼光、前瞻
Specifically:特別
如果你還沒遇到宿命性的對象、或交往關係尚不明瞭時,還是別在動態上發佈關於兩人的訊息吧,以免最後落得尷尬的收尾。
To unfriend or not to unfriend
“It feels unhealthy to be bombarded with photos,” says one editor
“Thankfully there’s that feature where you can just ask not to be shown posts from that certain person,” she says. “No harm, no foul.”
Bombarded with:發射、砲轟、面對(大量事物)
要不要刪好友也是個好問題,但大多數人表示不應該仍舊關注(follow)前任的Instagram,而Facebook的「某人不顯示在動態中」的功能也大受好評,既不會給人薄情印象,也不用天天接受到對方資訊。
Out of the picture
至於兩人恩愛合影該怎麼處理呢?VOGUE編輯們一致認為刪除所有照片是很傷人的作法。
“You don’t want to erase someone’s complete memory,” says one fashion editor. “You can be sad it’s over, but why make a show of taking everything down?” In other words, it’s the old-school equivalent of burning the entire box of photos and love letters.
old-school:老派
流行編輯表示:「你不會想刪除關於某人的所有回憶」、「你對這段關係結束感到悲傷,但不必要刪除所有東西 ; 換句話說,把滿載照片、情書的箱子燒掉已經過時了。」
“Profile photos are definitely fair game to delete if they have an ex in them,” says one producer
然而有一件事是所有編輯一致認同的:大頭照片。 如果大頭照中有前任情人,那必定是要刪除的。
Starting over
處理好和前任的網路關係後,就能開始迎接嶄新的開始,但還是要避免犯下讓人誤會的錯誤,像是按前任情人的「讚」這件事。
“I started seeing someone, and his ex liked one of his photos. I found it puzzling.” 對於按前任情人照片讚的人,我實在感到很困惑…
這種會讓人多做聯想的行為,如果你想開始一段新感情,還是少做為妙。
“Usually, when I start dating someone, I like to conduct a mini-investigation by going on their Instagram, “But there’s something really alluring about those people who don’t give me the option. You have to work harder to get to know them.” As one editor put it, “I think that the dating world would be much improved if we all added a little mystery.”
一位編輯表示:「當我開始跟某人約會時,我會先觀察他的Instagram,但有些人沒有玩IG,你必須要從其他地方仔細了解他。」、「如果我們都保持著一些神祕感,也許會讓約會的質量和有趣度大為提昇!」
網路的方便性讓我們自以為的可以從幾張畫面、一段文字就了解一個人 ; 而事實上,這只是他生活的小部分縮影,還是呼籲大家,從現實中去看一個人會更加真實。
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